Give Thanks: Day 1 - God Seeing Us Through

We have so much to be thankful for, it's difficult to know where to start. We are especially thankful to God for seeing us through our recent trial. As many already know Mike had a heart attack earlier this week. As scary and stressful as it was, we know it could have been much worse. We are thankful to God for seeing us through, for keeping His hands of protection on us, for guiding the doctors' and nurses' hands and decisions. We are thankful for our supportive and loving family. We are thankful that my mom was able to keep the boys and get Matthew to school, and that her coworkers are so understanding and supportive that she was able to leave at a moments notice. We are thankful that my dad was able to go with me to Dothan. We are thankful for our prayer warriors. We are here to say that prayer works. We have had MANY occasions to prove the power of prayer in our lives. NO ONE can get enough prayer or pray enough prayers of their own. We are thankful for all of our friends who came, called, texted, sent Facebook messages and/or commented on our updates. We are thankful that God has put sooooo many wonderful people in our lives. Every single one of you is a blessing to us, and we are thankful for you. God bless.

Preschool: Week One? Success!!

Matthew had a GREAT first week of school! He's adjusting well and learning so much. He has already made great progress. He is learning how to behave in a classroom environment, take turns, share, use computers and anythings and everything else he will need to be ready for Kindergarten. Plus he is having fun doing it. We are so thankful for those who are teaching him and working with him. God  has been planning and working everything out to get us to this very point. Thank you to all of our prayer warriors who have been praying with us. Our prayers are definitely being answered. We look forward to the school year ahead, knowing that God has brought us this far and that everything is in His hands. He makes all things work together for our good. Praising Him for a good school week and the hope that it gives us that everything is going to be fine.  :)

Jeremiah 29:11-13
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

First Day of Preschool

A new chapter begins today. Matthew spent his first day at school. He was excited to get ready and happy to stay. We went in with him expecting we might have to walk him to his room the first day, but instead Matthew came up to us in the lobby and gave us kisses, told us "bye" and that he'd see us soon. He was so happy. We left hearing him being introduced to new friends. So proud of our big boy. I think it was harder on us as parents knowing that our baby was growing up before our eyes.  Truth is, he was more ready than we were. We anxiously counted the minutes until it was time to go pick him up. It was a beautiful sight to watch him come walking out that school door. He got in the truck talking about how he played with "the boys" and that they are his friends. He also said he played on the computer. His Daddy asked if he had fun, and he said "Yes, lots of fun".I asked if he likes his teacher and with a huge smile he said "Uh huh". When asked if he wanted to go back tomorrow, he said "I go back tomorrow. I go to my school tomorrow." It was like music to our ears. He LOVES going to school.

I Cooked Supper

     Mike and I have spent very little time apart since August 8, 2005, the day we met eight years ago. I was attending college, and he lived in Panama City, Florida at that time. Even then, he was was working in a fire department. He would drive to see me every shift he was off.  He would be waiting for me to get out of class. He would spend the whole day with me and would leave just in time to get home and in the bed. On March 10, 2007, I married my best friend. Nothing has changed about how much time we still spend together. We still enjoy being together. Work is literally the ONLY thing that separates us now, but I am blessed to be a stay at home mother. We love going on dates, with and without the kiddos. When Mike is off work, we do everything together. We go grocery shopping together. I even schedule the boys doctor appointments and therapies for days that Mike can go too. You should see my planner-- cryptic to say the least from keeping up with schedules and making them all fit together. He accompanies me on shopping trips and will even hold my purse. I will go tromping through the woods and work outdoors dragging limbs with him. It doesn't matter what it is that we are doing, we are a team.
     After all this time of being together, I just wasn't prepared for tonight. But let's start at the beginning. Before we had kids and Mike was at work, I wouldn't cook supper for one. I didn't see the point. I'd keep easy microwave meals handy, eat leftovers or a sandwich... maybe even order takeout. After having kids, takeout meals decreased, but we I would still take advantage of the leftovers (the kids can be picky eaters). At that time, Mike was just working every other day.  Leftovers could easily stretch the extra night so that fresh cooked meals could be enjoyed together as a family. Now that there are four of us and he works two days on at a time, leftovers just don't stretch as far. Add that to the fact that Matthew is actually a viable consumer at the dinner table now. So tonight I did something that in 6 years of marriage I hadn't done before: I cooked supper on a night that Mike wasn't home. That may not sound like much to many (and mind you it was a very basic meal), but it meant so much more to me.
     Some may think I'm weird, but to me it's a tragic situation when a couple can be used to and comfortable with being apart. I'm not saying that you should just be all bent out of shape that they aren't with you at all times. The world is not ending, but there should always be the longing to be with your other half.

Genesis 2:24 ESV
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 ESV
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?

If it doesn't bother you to be without them, then it might be time and cause for concern. Pray for your marriage always. Strengthen and support each other.
     That being said, you never know how much you will miss something (or someone) until they aren't there. As a firefighter, Mike is gone long hours, but I have had to adjust to the schedule over time. It has become bearable, but never easy. It's harder now that we have kids. We wish we could be together 24/7, but reality also takes hold. Tonight was yet another reality check. Even after all this time, I didn't realize how sad it would make me to cook a meal that Mike wouldn't be here to eat with us until it completely hit me. That being said, if you are blessed to have your spouse at home every night for supper, don't take it for granted. Don't complain about the "burdens" of cooking and cleaning everything up.  Somewhere out there, the wife of a firefighter, oil rig worker, or any of various other extended hour jobs would gladly break out the cooking supplies to have her hubby home for supper. Don't miss a moment. Don't waste time complaining. Cherish every chance to make a memory.

Less Is More

We've heard the adage forever... "Less is more". But what does that mean? Well, that is open to interpretation. Answers will vary depending on who you ask. Some will go back to basics and recall other sayings like a "a little dot will do alot", a saying we learn when working with glue as kids. Others may also recall the phrase "a little goes a long way." Both refer to using something sparingly.  Philosophical individuals may liken "less is more" to the the words of Gandhi: "Live simply so others may simply live." Many would  attribute it to the Biblical teachings of living simply and not building up treasures in this world
(Matthew 6:19-21) or of charity and giving to others who are less fortunate (James 1:27 among many, MANY others).  Some may also interpret the saying as being about thankfulness. Those who have little are appreciative of what they have. They live a simple life, not corrupted by greed. They have what they need (sometimes barely that). They are also some of the richest people you will ever meet, because they know what matters most in life.
Well, today I learned "Less is more" from a special needs and sensory perspective. We try to surround Gabe with all these great educational toys. We hope that just one will spark his interest and that he will actually PLAY. We put them in his play yard with him and we leave them in hopes that just one will catch his eye. The reality: he'll poke at them, maybe look it over once, but ultimately toys hold no thrills for him. Recently we noticed how crowded his space was getting in there. Apparently, Gabe wasn't fond of the clutter either. He would get frustrated and start throwing toys out! Matthew, being the good big brother, would pick them up and put each and every one back in there with him.  That being said, Matthew is also largely responsible for the masses of toys that are in there to begin with.  Matthew is making sure that Gabe does not go without any of the cool toys, so he will go dig through Gabe's toy box and bring them by he arm loads and dump them into the play yard. Well, Gabe is a simple little man. He likes simple life.  Nothing much rials him up, but when he has had enough he will let you know about it.  Well, after several rounds of fetch between Matthew and Gabe, we decided to clean out. We removed all but just a few "cool toys". You know what happened next??  Gabe did the amazing.  He walked over to one of his toys, picked it up and started playing with it. Less is in fact more. What we forget when dealing with special needs is that they can overload. Educational toys are great, and we want to give our children every opportunity to learn and explore, BUT don't give them every single opportunity at once. If you give them too much to take in, they may just block it all out, and you are defeating your purpose. You would typically think of overloads as happening with too much sound, odd textures or too much change in their surroundings, but not because of excessive toys, but the key word is "excess"... too much to take in, too many to choose from, so their mind blocks it out to keep from getting frustrated by it. If you don't buy into the sensory overload theory, then at the very least consider that they have too many toys to be able to even see half of what they have and are lost in the heaps. The trick with any child is to get them to focus and keep their attention.  Give them just a few items, and remove as many distractions as possible. Less is more. The less distraction, the more of their attention you will have. The less toys to choose from at once, the more likely they are to choose one and stick with it and learn with it.
I'm sure much of this may sound weird, especially if you have never had a special needs child in your life. Here are a few simple facts to always remember when dealing with special needs children.

• Special needs kids are perfect. They are not broken.  They are just as wonderfully made in the image of God as any other child.
• It is not the job of a special needs child to "fit in" or conform to the world around them. They don't perceive the world around them the same as a neuro-typical person would. It is an honor for those who love them to be in the world of that child. Go inside their world.  We are to meet them on their grounds with LOVE and gradually pull out that wonderful person we see for the rest of the world to see.
• As a parent, the world will not appreciate your child the way you do. Don't even expect it to happen. Your child is a precious gift to you from God because He knew you were right for the job. You do what is best for your child and advocate for them.  God will place special individuals in your life in just the right places and at just the right times when you need them most. Trust Him.

With all that being said, I don't proclaim to be an expert.  I still have alot to learn also. I am a mom who loves her boys and has a heart for children, whether they are special needs or neuro-typical.  God made each and every one of us. It is my desire to advocate for children and to support and encourage other parents. If you are struggling with similar issues to what I have talked about, I hope that this post has been insightful to you. Know that God is setting the right people in your path and you aren't on this road alone. Trust Him with all your burdens and worries. He is able to do exceedingly above all you hope and imagine. Day by day, He will reveal to what you need, guide you and show you glimmers of hope. For us today, that came in the form of Gabe seeing play with a little toy, and we know that small victory is only the beginning!

Blessings Day After Day

We have been praying for certain situations pertaining to our family, finances and adoption. We know that God has been working out our situations all along, but recently He has been letting the blessings flow out. We have been busy for sure, but busy hands are better than empty hearts. Gabe continues to improve.  He is starting to let the words roll out, a new word a week at times. He is so much more alert these days.  He is becoming more social and personable. This is all a long way from where he started several weeks ago. We thank God for the people he has put in our path... our pediatrician who first saw the signs of Autism and started us on the tasks of evaluation, our speech therapist who dedicates so much of herself to reaching in and pulling Gabe out each week, and our pediatrician's wife who is working with us and teaching us the ins and outs of Autism, vitamins and therapies. Did I mention that our pediatrician and his wife are also the parents of an Autistic son?? Yes, God has been preparing our path that long... Four years he has been our family pediatrician, not to mention the pediatrician of my now 17 year old nephew.  And though the staffing has changed over the course of 27 years, it is the same pediatric office I went to as a child. So, Yep!  God has been working with us a long time.  :)
Our oldest son Matthew turned 4 years old this past Saturday. Mike and I took the boys out to eat at Cracker Barrel for supper Friday night to celebrate.  Our waitress brought Matthew a chocolate sundae and sang "Happy Birthday" to him. He was so surprised and really loved it. In the words of Matthew: "It was all so cool!" Saturday we celebrated with a birthday party for Matthew. We were blessed to make such sweet memories with family and friends. After the party, Gabe went home with Grandma and Grandpa so that we could surprise Matthew by taking him to a movie.  We went to see Planes. We love love LOVED it, such a good movie.  When we got back to the car, Mike went to get in the driver seat and crank the truck while I buckled Matthew in. Matthew looked at me, smiled and said, "Thank you, Mom."  Then he leaned into the front seat and hugged his Daddy and told him 'thank you'. It was such a sweet moment.  We know that God truly blessed our lives the day He made us parents and started us out with Matthew.  We won't say it has always been easy... parenthood never is, but oh boy is it worth it!
Then came Sunday.  We enjoyed Sunday School followed by a message on Conquering Circumstances in Your Life. Sunday evening we attended the first of six sessions of New Members Class.  Technically we are not that new of members, but this is the first time this class has been offered.  We enjoyed learning about the history of our church and the Disciple Life model and meeting other new(er) members. From there we went across campus to PS33, a praise and worship experience like no other. We enjoyed food, fellowship and upbeat music and a hard hitting message entitled "What are you passionate about?" based on Psalm 33:20-22. If you are wondering where the kiddos were during all of this, they were having fun with their friends in the children's department while learning about God and Jesus.  :)
Just when you think things can't get better, here comes Monday. Bright and early Mike got a call telling him that he got the promotion that we have been praying for!! WHAT A BLESSING!! This will open up so many doors for our family. It will help us to afford the vitamins, diet/food and therapies that both of our boys need. It sets us on the path to finally build the house we have only been able to dream about thus far. It also will allow us to move on with our adoption process, knowing that we will have adequate space and finances for our current and future children.
These past few days have literally been filled with blessings and answered prayers! We are thrilled, excited, amazed and humbled. The road has been hard.  We have lost friends and family along the way. God has never forsaken us.  He has been a constant presence in our lives, filling us with a peace that can only be found through a relationship with Him. We didn't know how or when things would work out, but we DID know that they would indeed work out how and when GOD intended. Though it would seem as if everything is a "happy ending", we know that this is only the beginning. Each day ahead will hold its own challenges and circumstances, but we don't worry about them knowing that God is already there.

Blood

God is always busy working things out before they even happen.  He looks into our future and knows exactly what we will need and when we will need it.  It may not make complete sense at the time, but He has it under control.  Maybe you think you have it all figured out, when in fact God's plan is so much bigger than mere human understanding can fathom. We had always thought that adoption was God's answer to our being advised not to attempt pregnancy anymore. We see now that when God set us on the path to adoption, He had more in mind for us than just raising kids. He has used adoption to teach us lessons that we are applying to every aspect in life.  We have said that "DNA doesn't make family". I've shared many pics on Facebook that feature that very sentiment as a part of advocating that adoptive children are just as much family as any other child, regardless of blood.  Recently trials have showed us that God meant us to learn that lesson for other reasons.

What is a family?
Life is full of choices. Some people will choose to love, support and be there for you, and some will choose not to. Some people will choose to knock you down, and others will be there to pick you up.  DNA alone doesn't make a family.  Being family is a choice.  A true family is made up of individuals who love each other regardless of blood.  It is a commitment that is held together by honesty, trust and a desire to lift each other up, to support each other and to encourage each other through life. It should be rooted in Biblical teaching and fully relying on God and God's will.

Blood That Matters
There is ONE blood that does make a family. The blood of Jesus Christ. His is the blood that matters most, the only blood that really matters at all.  Jesus, God's own son, sees no divisions of DNA or color.  He loves ALL.  As a family of Christians bought and paid for by the precious blood of Christ, we are to live a life that reflects Christ in us. We are new creatures, born again... co-heirs in Glory with Jesus (our brother). We are family. We are BLESSED to have so many brothers and sisters by THIS blood.