Less Is More

We've heard the adage forever... "Less is more". But what does that mean? Well, that is open to interpretation. Answers will vary depending on who you ask. Some will go back to basics and recall other sayings like a "a little dot will do alot", a saying we learn when working with glue as kids. Others may also recall the phrase "a little goes a long way." Both refer to using something sparingly.  Philosophical individuals may liken "less is more" to the the words of Gandhi: "Live simply so others may simply live." Many would  attribute it to the Biblical teachings of living simply and not building up treasures in this world
(Matthew 6:19-21) or of charity and giving to others who are less fortunate (James 1:27 among many, MANY others).  Some may also interpret the saying as being about thankfulness. Those who have little are appreciative of what they have. They live a simple life, not corrupted by greed. They have what they need (sometimes barely that). They are also some of the richest people you will ever meet, because they know what matters most in life.
Well, today I learned "Less is more" from a special needs and sensory perspective. We try to surround Gabe with all these great educational toys. We hope that just one will spark his interest and that he will actually PLAY. We put them in his play yard with him and we leave them in hopes that just one will catch his eye. The reality: he'll poke at them, maybe look it over once, but ultimately toys hold no thrills for him. Recently we noticed how crowded his space was getting in there. Apparently, Gabe wasn't fond of the clutter either. He would get frustrated and start throwing toys out! Matthew, being the good big brother, would pick them up and put each and every one back in there with him.  That being said, Matthew is also largely responsible for the masses of toys that are in there to begin with.  Matthew is making sure that Gabe does not go without any of the cool toys, so he will go dig through Gabe's toy box and bring them by he arm loads and dump them into the play yard. Well, Gabe is a simple little man. He likes simple life.  Nothing much rials him up, but when he has had enough he will let you know about it.  Well, after several rounds of fetch between Matthew and Gabe, we decided to clean out. We removed all but just a few "cool toys". You know what happened next??  Gabe did the amazing.  He walked over to one of his toys, picked it up and started playing with it. Less is in fact more. What we forget when dealing with special needs is that they can overload. Educational toys are great, and we want to give our children every opportunity to learn and explore, BUT don't give them every single opportunity at once. If you give them too much to take in, they may just block it all out, and you are defeating your purpose. You would typically think of overloads as happening with too much sound, odd textures or too much change in their surroundings, but not because of excessive toys, but the key word is "excess"... too much to take in, too many to choose from, so their mind blocks it out to keep from getting frustrated by it. If you don't buy into the sensory overload theory, then at the very least consider that they have too many toys to be able to even see half of what they have and are lost in the heaps. The trick with any child is to get them to focus and keep their attention.  Give them just a few items, and remove as many distractions as possible. Less is more. The less distraction, the more of their attention you will have. The less toys to choose from at once, the more likely they are to choose one and stick with it and learn with it.
I'm sure much of this may sound weird, especially if you have never had a special needs child in your life. Here are a few simple facts to always remember when dealing with special needs children.

• Special needs kids are perfect. They are not broken.  They are just as wonderfully made in the image of God as any other child.
• It is not the job of a special needs child to "fit in" or conform to the world around them. They don't perceive the world around them the same as a neuro-typical person would. It is an honor for those who love them to be in the world of that child. Go inside their world.  We are to meet them on their grounds with LOVE and gradually pull out that wonderful person we see for the rest of the world to see.
• As a parent, the world will not appreciate your child the way you do. Don't even expect it to happen. Your child is a precious gift to you from God because He knew you were right for the job. You do what is best for your child and advocate for them.  God will place special individuals in your life in just the right places and at just the right times when you need them most. Trust Him.

With all that being said, I don't proclaim to be an expert.  I still have alot to learn also. I am a mom who loves her boys and has a heart for children, whether they are special needs or neuro-typical.  God made each and every one of us. It is my desire to advocate for children and to support and encourage other parents. If you are struggling with similar issues to what I have talked about, I hope that this post has been insightful to you. Know that God is setting the right people in your path and you aren't on this road alone. Trust Him with all your burdens and worries. He is able to do exceedingly above all you hope and imagine. Day by day, He will reveal to what you need, guide you and show you glimmers of hope. For us today, that came in the form of Gabe seeing play with a little toy, and we know that small victory is only the beginning!

Blessings Day After Day

We have been praying for certain situations pertaining to our family, finances and adoption. We know that God has been working out our situations all along, but recently He has been letting the blessings flow out. We have been busy for sure, but busy hands are better than empty hearts. Gabe continues to improve.  He is starting to let the words roll out, a new word a week at times. He is so much more alert these days.  He is becoming more social and personable. This is all a long way from where he started several weeks ago. We thank God for the people he has put in our path... our pediatrician who first saw the signs of Autism and started us on the tasks of evaluation, our speech therapist who dedicates so much of herself to reaching in and pulling Gabe out each week, and our pediatrician's wife who is working with us and teaching us the ins and outs of Autism, vitamins and therapies. Did I mention that our pediatrician and his wife are also the parents of an Autistic son?? Yes, God has been preparing our path that long... Four years he has been our family pediatrician, not to mention the pediatrician of my now 17 year old nephew.  And though the staffing has changed over the course of 27 years, it is the same pediatric office I went to as a child. So, Yep!  God has been working with us a long time.  :)
Our oldest son Matthew turned 4 years old this past Saturday. Mike and I took the boys out to eat at Cracker Barrel for supper Friday night to celebrate.  Our waitress brought Matthew a chocolate sundae and sang "Happy Birthday" to him. He was so surprised and really loved it. In the words of Matthew: "It was all so cool!" Saturday we celebrated with a birthday party for Matthew. We were blessed to make such sweet memories with family and friends. After the party, Gabe went home with Grandma and Grandpa so that we could surprise Matthew by taking him to a movie.  We went to see Planes. We love love LOVED it, such a good movie.  When we got back to the car, Mike went to get in the driver seat and crank the truck while I buckled Matthew in. Matthew looked at me, smiled and said, "Thank you, Mom."  Then he leaned into the front seat and hugged his Daddy and told him 'thank you'. It was such a sweet moment.  We know that God truly blessed our lives the day He made us parents and started us out with Matthew.  We won't say it has always been easy... parenthood never is, but oh boy is it worth it!
Then came Sunday.  We enjoyed Sunday School followed by a message on Conquering Circumstances in Your Life. Sunday evening we attended the first of six sessions of New Members Class.  Technically we are not that new of members, but this is the first time this class has been offered.  We enjoyed learning about the history of our church and the Disciple Life model and meeting other new(er) members. From there we went across campus to PS33, a praise and worship experience like no other. We enjoyed food, fellowship and upbeat music and a hard hitting message entitled "What are you passionate about?" based on Psalm 33:20-22. If you are wondering where the kiddos were during all of this, they were having fun with their friends in the children's department while learning about God and Jesus.  :)
Just when you think things can't get better, here comes Monday. Bright and early Mike got a call telling him that he got the promotion that we have been praying for!! WHAT A BLESSING!! This will open up so many doors for our family. It will help us to afford the vitamins, diet/food and therapies that both of our boys need. It sets us on the path to finally build the house we have only been able to dream about thus far. It also will allow us to move on with our adoption process, knowing that we will have adequate space and finances for our current and future children.
These past few days have literally been filled with blessings and answered prayers! We are thrilled, excited, amazed and humbled. The road has been hard.  We have lost friends and family along the way. God has never forsaken us.  He has been a constant presence in our lives, filling us with a peace that can only be found through a relationship with Him. We didn't know how or when things would work out, but we DID know that they would indeed work out how and when GOD intended. Though it would seem as if everything is a "happy ending", we know that this is only the beginning. Each day ahead will hold its own challenges and circumstances, but we don't worry about them knowing that God is already there.