Laramore Family Adventures

After having our beautiful epiphany concerning our changing life (see "Lessons and Blessings"), we have decided to change the name of our blog and Facebook page.

Our blog will from hence forth be titled
"Our Beautiful Journey... God's Great Plan."

Please "follow us" and feel free to share our blog or any individual post with your friends.

Please also visit our revised Facebook Page:

Laramore Family Adventures

https://www.facebook.com/LaramoreFamilyAdventures

Facebook users:  Please visit our page. While there, "like" and "share" it with your friends.

We say it often, but it's just as true now as the first time we said it... We feel blessed to be on this journey.  We are thankful to God.  We know that we are not alone in the changes we have faced and will face, and that means so much to us.  God is with us, and He has placed wonderful, caring and supportive family and friends in our lives to count and lean on, to laugh and cry with, to pray and rejoice with.  He is supplying our every need in His own timing and according His plan.  Thank you all for your continued love, support and prayers. We are blessed to have each of you.  God bless you all.

Lessons and Blessings

Matthew & Gabe

We started our blog in June 2012. It's hard to believe over a year has passed since then. As I said in a previous entry, this year has been filled with changes. Changes changes everywhere. Perhaps the biggest changes came in January when Matthew (age 4 years) was diagnosed with Autism, likely Aspergers. There has been no change in how much we love him. He is the same beautiful, wonderful, intelligent ray of sunshine that he has always been.  But we have had to change many of our approaches in how we work with him and handle his behaviors. I struggled with the idea of sharing details about our adventures with Autism due to the fact that this blog was created to update on our adoption process, but lately I have come to realize a few things.
First, the back story...
As some of you may know, last week Gabe (age 18 months) was diagnosed with moderate to severe Autism also-- more moderate than severe. He is very delayed in his speech and social skills. For over a month now, we have been attending weekly speech therapy with Gabe and have recently found out that he is extremely Vitamin D deficient. We don't know how it happened or what caused it, but being as D deficient as he is COULD play a part in his delay. For the experts out there, his D level should be between 80 and 100. Gabe's is 16. So we have started daily Vitamin D supplement drops (3,000 units daily) to try to get his level up as well as a daily multivitamin. We can tell a small difference in Gabe already.  He really seems to be more interactive with his surroundings. He plays with his toys. He is babbling alot more and actually pointing and making more words. He lets us know that he wants us and needs things now. We have heard and read about great results coming from getting Vitamin D levels in check, so we are praying that this is the case with Gabe.
Matthew continues to improve and make great strides. He will hopefully be starting Pre-K in the next few weeks, and we are excited to see the wonderful things that await him and the progress we know he will make.
Here comes the newest change... or the revelation. Rather, it was more of an "Ah Ha!" and "Duh!" moment all in one... Our adoption journey is directly related to our adventures in Autism. We are FAMILY. What affects one of us affects all of us, whether that be current family members or future ones. Autism isn't going to leave. It is a part of who we are and who our family is. Even if Matthew and Gabe are able to fully work through Autism and be symptom free, we will always be Autism advocates.  As adoptive parents, we won't be guaranteed not to face Autism with our future children also, and that is OK!! God is using both of  these situations to make us into what He needs us to be. Where we are headed we don't know, but God is there. He knows what is ahead, and He is preparing us to deal with it.  He is shaping us into what we need to be and teaching us what we need to know. It is not for us to ask why but for us to trust God. He holds the whole world in his hands and keeps everything balanced and working together. He created heavens and earth, land and seas, light and life. I'm pretty sure He can manage little things like Autism and adoption.  ;) We do ask for your continued prayers for our family as our story unfolds. From this point on I will be posting everything, so Prayer Warriors, stay on your toes! We have many lessons and blessings ahead, and we look forward to sharing them with you. We are so thankful to have each of you to share our journey with. God bless each of you.

You Never Know

Before we began our adoption journey, we probably couldn't name more than five people that we knew who were adopted or were touched by adoption in some way. That's the amazing thing, whether you realize they exist or not doesn't change the fact that they do. Since beginning the adoption process, we have become aware of several friends whose lives have been touched by adoption. Some were themselves adopted. Some are birth parents. We have also met many adoptive families and hopeful adoptive families. Some of these people we have known a while but were never aware of their adoption story. It just goes to show that you never really know what a person is going through or has been through. You can assume alot, but you never know for sure. Many people are fighting silent battles that no one else knows. They could have many reasons for not talking about their adoption. It may still be painful to them, or maybe they've moved on from it to where they don't consider it anymore. I know when we first started our process we didn't realize how common adoption really is, so we were concerned that others would think it odd or something; that people wouldn't understand. Maybe many adoptees and birth parents have the same fear, wondering what others will think.
To everyone I say this: adoption is a beautiful thing. The circumstances that brought you to the adoption process may not be, but adoption itself is a gift, a second chance from God. It is the chance to turn a mess into a blessing. It is the most selfless gift a birth mother can give her child. There is no shame in that. Adoption is a beautiful part of God's plan for us, a direct model of our Salvation. As born again Christians we are adopted by Him as sons and daughters, co-heirs with Christ. Though we started out in a seemingly hopeless mess, through the love of Christ, we have a chance at a beautiful future. Is being a born again Christian easy? No. It is met with much persecution. We are different. We are called to be set apart from the rest of the world. Is being adopted easy? No, not at all. Adoptees face many challenges that most can not understand, separations, losses, grieving, uncertainty of who they really.
There is no easy role in the adoption process. There is no role in the adoption process that is easy. It is not easy for the birth mother to make the decision to place her baby for adoption. It is not easy on the child to hear and accept that they were placed for adoption. It's not easy to be the parent whose child is taken into care due to mistakes and circumstance of your life. It's not easy to be the child who has to cope with the changes and moves that are a part of being in care. It's not easy on Foster parents to pick up the pieces and help the child move through the process, and it's not easy explaining to the child that they won't be living with their birth families again. It is not easy on the adoptive parents either. They have to watch their child go through alot emotionally, but as good parents they are there for them... to help them, to guide them, to love them. It's hard on the social workers and agency workers too. They don't enjoy seeing children separated from their birth families (for whatever reason), but they want what is best for the child as well. Adoption is NOT easy.
We are so thankful to all of our friends who have opened their hearts to us and shared their adoption story. God has a beautiful plan for your life, and He has definitely blessed us through knowing you. Much love to each of you! :)

Changes

Today, I have been reflecting on our adoption journey.  I have been thinking about all the changes that have occurred along the way... starting with the event that changed it all.  We went from a couple that had brought two beautiful babies into the world and was looking forward to a third to the the couple who has two beautiful boys and they would be the only ones. That was a difficult change to swallow, but God threw in a game changer. He had already been tugging at us to adopt. We had never thought it would be our only method to having more children.  We had thought it would be an additional method.  But knowing we had the option to adopt at all helped us get through the bad news. We initially thought that we would adopt an infant.  Older children didn't really seem appealing. We just wanted a sweet little newborn to raise. Who wouldn't??? Then God laid a burden on our heart for all the children that are waiting right now for a home.  They aren't newborns, and therefore they aren't as quick to find forever families for, and THAT is sad. Many of these children will eventually age out of the system without a family to call their own or a place to call home. That is heartbreaking. So here we are... exploring the possibility of adopting a child through the Heart Gallery of Alabama. It's a pretty big jump from adopting a newborn to possibly adopting an older child. Many would ask, "What changed?" Did God change His mind? No. To say that God changed His mind would be like saying that He went to Plan B. God has no Plan B. His plans are perfect and require no backups. His plan is what it has always been. His calling on our lives is what it was all along. "Help the children." He never put an age group on it.

Romans 11:29-
God never changes his mind about the people he calls and the things he gives them.

Numbers 23:19-
God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

James 1:17-
Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.

So what did change?? Us. From the very beginning, God has been phasing the events and using them to mold us.... to CHANGE us into the people He wants us to be... into the family He needs us to be to help the child that He already has in mind for us. He has been changing our hearts and growing us in ways we cannot even explain and placing a burden on us that keeps us moving through the process with a passion.  Most people think of a burden as being a bad thing. Not so. This burden is a complete blessing, a glorious beautiful blessing. God handpicked us to be parents to two very special little boys, and now we know that He has handpicked us to be parents to some other sweet child we haven't even met yet. This burden is our hope. It is our sign gift  from God that He is working in and has special plans for our lives... that He is using us. We give Him all the glory for this. We know that the changes are far from over. Some of the best changes are yet to come: the changes that come when you bring a child into your home. We know it will take some adjustments, but we know that God has already got it covered. He is already working on it and preparing the way.

Philippians 1:6-
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

We know that God will see us through. Thank you all for your continued prayers, love and support. God bless each of you.

Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy (or Cheap)

Today we attended another training class. We went through and discussed Book 4 in our Deciding Together series (6 books total). We now have Book 5 to complete. We also found out today that we are about to enter the expensive part of the adoption journey. After we complete Book 6, which will be soon, we will be completing our home study. The home study will cost us $1,000.00. This will be divided into two payments: $500.00 due before the home study and the remaining $500.00 due upon completion of the home study. Plus $100.00 for Mike and I ($50.00 each) to have finger printing and background checks done. Basically we are looking at $1,100 in expenses in the next couple of months. This does not include any attorney fees or placement fees that will come a little later on when we are matched with a child. Right now our total from our fundraising is $348.75... so we are still a little on the short side to say the least, but we know that God will provide.

We are continuing with our fundraisers...

We still have our Adoption Bug T-Shirt fundraiser going:
www.adoptionbug.com/laramoreadoption

We also still have several copies of our cookbook available:
http://www.facebook.com/events/611094082248271/

We are also looking for more Fundraiser ideas. We will gladly host online parties if you are a representative or consultant for a brand that offers online parties and fundraising. Above all please continue to pray for us as we move forward through the adoption process. We have come so far, but still have a long way to go also. Thank you all for your prayers and support and for sharing our journey with us.

Sister Talk

We have always felt that it is very important that family be involved in our adoption process.  We don't want anyone feeling like an outsider or spectator, especially our children.  We have made a point to talk to Matthew about it all along. Conversations with Matthew began when I was pregnant with Gabe, so we were explaining that Mommy had a baby in her belly and that soon we'd go to the hospital and the Dr. would help the baby come out.  When Gabe was born, Matthew was so excited.  He loved bringing baby home, so we used it to help explain adoption a little more.  We told him that we were going to bring another baby home one day.  He loved that idea... "More Gabey Babies! Yay!"  lol
Well, here we are... Gabe is almost 18 months old, and Matthew will be 4 years old in September, and it just occurred to us... we have been talking about another BABY coming to live with us.  What if the child we adopt is not a baby actually?  What if she is Matthew's age or a little older.  So I asked the question:  "Matthew, would you like a sister to live with us?"  He replied, "A sister? No."  Then I realized: This kid doesn't know what a sister even is! We are a family full of little boys.  'Sister' is not a familiar word at all! So I rephrased it.. "Matthew, would you like a girl to come live with us?"  Matthew responded, "A girl?  Yes!!!"  Just when I thought I was on to something, he added, "A girl like Grandma!"
We'll get there in time I guess.  :)

The Blessing of New Horizons

God is really working overtime right now.  He is steadily guiding us through our Autism journey with Matthew and Gabe, but He is moving in our adoption journey in awesome ways too. It has felt like we have been sitting still since January, but we are starting to feel the pulls again.  God has been laying a few thoughts on our hearts. Don't worry! All is well, and we are definitely not second guessing our calling to adoption. On the contrary, God is expanding our horizons to possibilities hat we had thought were out of our reach or beyond our capabilities, experience and  knowledge. We are realizing that what may be beyond us is NOT beyond God. If He leads us to something, He will equip us and guide us. He will never leave us. He will give us the strength and knowledge we need. I hope this doesn't sound too cryptic. It's not a huge secret of anything. We just don't have any solid update to share. It's just a feeling... a wonderful feeling that something big is coming. We just don't know where He's headed with us, but it is exciting. We know doors are going to be opening... praising Him in the hallway until then.  :) Thank you all for your support.  Please continue your prayers for us and our family as we continue the process of adoption. Thank you, Lord, for choosing us for this path and for the grace you have shown us and the blessings that you have given us along the way. We know even bigger blessings are yet to come. :)

 

Luke 1:37

For nothing is impossible with God

Hebrews 13:20-21

Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.